Musings

Being out of credit card debt has created a whole new freedom for me. But it's also creating new responsibilities. I really, really, really don't want to get in debt again. My financial situation is more secure than it has been before and I've actually got money in savings to pull from if emergencies happen.

I've been thinking about this a lot for the past few days, though, and trying to come up with a realistic budget that both pays all my bills and still allows me to have fun and buy new things periodically. Obviously I can't do it all at once, but it will be great to know that the extra several hundred dollars I was putting toward Citibank can now be used for something immediate.

Credit card debt is a tricky thing, though. For the most part, it was probably due to things I wanted but couldn't afford (I know that seems obvious but stick with me....). Things like clothes, plane tickets, etc.

But I'm certain a lot of it was also due to things I needed to do - like fix my car, unexpected dental work or, in my case the biggest chunk of my debt, Max's vet bills.

I've said this several times, but I have no regrets spending the thousands of dollars that I did to keep Max alive for a few extra days. But right before that happened last year, I was less than a thousand dollars away from paying off my credit card debt. Then it shot right back up. I didn't have money in savings to pay off some or all of the vet bills and wasn't making the same salary I am now.

So while I am really looking forward to living a better financial life, I also promise to keep perspective on what life can throw you. Emergencies and unexpected costs due occur but I'm better prepared for them now.

And while I know it seems strange to say this but paying off my credit card last month, which was largely the vet bills from last year, was amazing it also felt bittersweet. I think it was my last tangible connection to Max. Since his death, I've gotten a new dog, I've moved, I've gotten new furniture and a new car. There is little around me now that was part of his life. I know the debt wasn't my last memory of him but it is odd to know that something so great (paying it off) can have one small tug at my heartstrings.