Baby Steps

Yep, that's right. Lucie is taking them.

She's been crawling for several months now and pulling herself up and walking with ease around tables but Chris called me yesterday to say she had taken her first steps on her own. She's still more comfortable with crawling so reverts back to that more often than walking but she'll get past that quickly I'm certain.

I just can't believe she's almost a year old. A lot has happened in a year - some good, some bad, some very good, some very bad.

But, Monday, February 9, 2009 is a day that I will never forget.

The weekend before that was when I was out of town and received the phone call that Max had been attacked by a stray dog while my friend, Melina, was watching him. I flew home as quickly as possible and Max pulled through two more nights. On the morning of February 9, I was waiting for Jess to pick me up to meet with the surgeons at the vet hospital to determine what Max's options were and my phone rang.

It was 7am and I saw it was Chris. He had been very supportive during the past few days of emotional turmoil so I thought he was calling to wish me luck with the surgeon. Nope. Missy's water had broken and they were on their way to the hospital. Lucie was arriving 3 1/2 weeks early.

At the end of a long day my life had changed. Max died from a blood clot and Lucie was born. Within a few hours of each other. So is the circle of life. The devastation of losing Max and the excitement of Lucie being born are completely mutually exclusive feelings. So you can imagine how that day must have felt.

But here we are almost a year later and I feel so lucky to be an active part of Lucie's life. I've been trying to think of a great 1st birthday gift. I know she won't care/know/remember what I get her but I like traditions.

Jess suggested tonight that I write her a letter every year on her birthday. One that reflects on my previous year with her. I loved this idea. Then I can give her the collection of them at some monumental moment in her life - graduation, going to college, getting married.

Of course I'll still get her tangible gifts. But this will have meaning to me now and her forever.