Family Bonding

Last night I babysat Lucie and Audrey (as well as a 15 month old baby of Chris and Missy's friend). The 'older' kids were asleep by 7:30 and that left Audrey and me.

It was the first time I felt like I was really starting to bond with her. I fed her a couple of times, changed her diaper and overall just enjoyed snuggling with her. At four weeks old, she's pretty alert and quite adorable - making all the cute baby noises, stretching in odd positions and nuzzling into my arms - and it made my heart swell for her.

I was also relieved.

I hadn't felt that bond with Audrey yet. Most of the four weeks of her life, when I've been with Chris and Missy, it's to help with Lucie. So tonight it was much more about Audrey and I was so happy.

I give my friend, Jen, a hard time on behalf of second/younger children around the world. While I'm largely joking, it is different. Your first child and everything they do is special and exciting and scary (I imagine) at times. As a second child, I felt it was my duty to make sure parents (especially those who were older children) understand that we're just as important.

But of course we are. And of course it's different. It can't possibly be the same. But it doesn't mean it's better or worse.

I know that Lucie will always be my first niece and hold a special place in my heart. But holding Audrey last night and getting some time with just her is exactly what I needed to know I will also hold a special (but different) place in my heart for her.

Meanwhile, Lucie woke up several times while I was there and needed some extra nurturing to fall back asleep. It made me feel good to know I could do that for her, while still love on Audrey. As always, I continue to be in awe of all mothers and how they do it.